Tuesday, September 25, 2012


When someone hurts you with words or actions many of us let that really affect us.  And by affecting us it changes the way we live our life.  As I have said before in many past blog entries such as "Finish Your Day", you need to be able to accept that it happened and move on with your life.  In the last entry we talked about the power of forgiveness.  This rings true in regards to this post too.  When people are mean or hurtful to you it is a choice they made and a reflection of how they think of themselves.  So by forgiving them and taking that burden away from your life you are left with a life of happiness and enjoyment by living with direction towards joy.

Read the starting quote again and really think about it.   When you or someone else acts negatively towards another then you are doing nothing but bringing more negativity in your life.  After a while the "scratching" runs out and you are left with nothing because of how badly you value yourself when you treat others with hate.  Treating someone else bad never results in you feeling better about yourself.  It just results in more situations being presented to you that will result in you acting and thinking negatively.  This means that you are filling your life with more hate than love.  Now I know people will upset you and do bad things to you, but taking the higher road shows that you think better about yourself and your happiness.  Think about a time you treated someone badly, did you really feel better afterward? Chances are maybe for a split second you may have got a feeling of satisfaction or accomplishment, but if you dig deeper I bet you also felt a little empty and bad about what you said.  Humans are meant to love and be happy, that is why those feelings feel good.  So why choose the opposite which doesn't?

Love and respect are two of the most important things you can impart in your life on a daily basis.  If you walk around with an attitude of love and really look at all the amazing things in the world there is no reason to bring hate into it.  If you don't agree or care for someone then let it be.  It does neither party any good to express the negative towards each other.  Instead accept the fact that you have differences and that is what makes life interesting.  And also realize that you have a choice who you let in your life and how they affect it.  So next time you are in a situation where someone treats you badly or speaks poorly to you, realize it is their issue not yours.  And instead try to show them love in return so you can help that "sandpaper" from becoming useless and empty.

Friday, September 14, 2012

When you Forgive...

Forgiveness is one of the best attributes to have and one of the best ways to shift your life into a more positive light.  Oprah's Lifeclass show has many themes based on forgiveness and Iyanla Vanzant is one of the key speakers on the topic.  Her new show "Iyanla, Fix My Life" premieres on OWN next week and is all about helping people get over the junk in their past and move on with their lives. (Shameless plug, but I love OWN and really think you need to watch the shows on it if you have not yet)  So many people live in regret, anger, and sadness over something that either they did to another person or something that was done to them.  However what seems to prevent people from moving on is that they can't forgive themselves or the people who caused them the pain.  

Saying you forgive someone does not mean that you are justifying or okay with what happened but that you value your own happiness enough to move on with your life, which in the end is the only thing you have control over.  Many times you may be harboring anger or other feelings about something that happened and thinking that the other person is too.  When actually they may have already moved on and are not losing sleep over it.  So in reality denying forgiveness in your life is essentially denying your happiness and peace in your own life.  I have mentioned the quote before from Buddha that states, "Anger is like holding a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone, you are the one who gets burned."  You have no control over how the other person reacts to what you have done or what they did to you.  The only thing you can do is accept that it happened, forgive all involved including yourself, see the lesson, and move on with your life.  As with many posts on this blog I have stated that you can't change the past.  No matter how hard you may try to and think that you can it is a losing battle.  So why not put your energy towards today and how your life is now, which is something you can control.

Take a moment and think of someone you are upset with, something you did to someone else that you feel bad about, some event or circumstance that caused you hardship.  Now take a deep breath and let it go.  Forgive what happened.  You don't have to agree with what happened or commend it; instead just accept that it happened and you are no longer living in that moment.  Realize how precious life is now and show yourself how much value you have by making a stand to be happy now.  Forgiveness is not for others, it is for ourselves.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Traveling vs. Arriving

The principles of Buddha resonate with me.  They are not religious and do not promote praising a higher being.  The higher being is yourself, heaven is your life on earth and in you, happiness and suffering are all results of your actions and thoughts.  There is so much knowledge and life lessons through Buddhist teaching and I will include several as this blog goes on.  

With that being said, the lesson for today is that life is not about the destination, it is about the journey.  Many of us get caught up in goals, events, expectations and future happiness upon reaching a certain achievement.  By living this way you lose the joy of now.  Today is the amazing gift we are all given.  We are not guaranteed tomorrow and therefore have to be cautious not to constantly live as if tomorrow is going to happen and only then will you be happy.  I am sure you have heard people say, "I will be so happy when...", "I just need to get this one thing taken care of and then I'll be happy.", "Once I pay this bill off I'll be happy", and so on.  Sadly when living this way you are depriving yourself of the joy and beauty that is the life your in now; in this moment.  Yes those things will be great when they happen and there is nothing wrong with celebrating them when they come, but do not get so caught up in getting to that moment that you let this moment pass you buy.  So you have a big bill you are trying to pay off? So your day started out bad? So you have to lose 20 pounds?...this will all happen if you stay in the now and live in the moment.  Being happy and acting positively now, will bring positive results, actions, and circumstances into your life via the law of attraction.  Worry, wondering, obsessing over what is coming or what is going to happen will only fog your mind from living a truly happy life.

Take a moment to take each day as it is and the amazing journey that you travel through.  Appreciate the people that you come in contact with each day, the food you fuel your body with, the beauty of nature around you.  Time will pass and your future "thing" will most likely still happen, but why not enjoy yourself along the way??  It is better to look back and say you lived and loved to the fullest rather than wishing and aiming to do it soon.  Life is too precious to count on what could happen.  Instead of saying someday, say TODAY!

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