Friday, September 14, 2012

When you Forgive...

Forgiveness is one of the best attributes to have and one of the best ways to shift your life into a more positive light.  Oprah's Lifeclass show has many themes based on forgiveness and Iyanla Vanzant is one of the key speakers on the topic.  Her new show "Iyanla, Fix My Life" premieres on OWN next week and is all about helping people get over the junk in their past and move on with their lives. (Shameless plug, but I love OWN and really think you need to watch the shows on it if you have not yet)  So many people live in regret, anger, and sadness over something that either they did to another person or something that was done to them.  However what seems to prevent people from moving on is that they can't forgive themselves or the people who caused them the pain.  

Saying you forgive someone does not mean that you are justifying or okay with what happened but that you value your own happiness enough to move on with your life, which in the end is the only thing you have control over.  Many times you may be harboring anger or other feelings about something that happened and thinking that the other person is too.  When actually they may have already moved on and are not losing sleep over it.  So in reality denying forgiveness in your life is essentially denying your happiness and peace in your own life.  I have mentioned the quote before from Buddha that states, "Anger is like holding a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone, you are the one who gets burned."  You have no control over how the other person reacts to what you have done or what they did to you.  The only thing you can do is accept that it happened, forgive all involved including yourself, see the lesson, and move on with your life.  As with many posts on this blog I have stated that you can't change the past.  No matter how hard you may try to and think that you can it is a losing battle.  So why not put your energy towards today and how your life is now, which is something you can control.

Take a moment and think of someone you are upset with, something you did to someone else that you feel bad about, some event or circumstance that caused you hardship.  Now take a deep breath and let it go.  Forgive what happened.  You don't have to agree with what happened or commend it; instead just accept that it happened and you are no longer living in that moment.  Realize how precious life is now and show yourself how much value you have by making a stand to be happy now.  Forgiveness is not for others, it is for ourselves.

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