Blaming is one of the worst things we do as humans. It is a way of passing the buck and taking the pressure off oneself. Admit it, we all do it, and it does seem to give that temporary relief at times. However it is a self defeating thing to do and really does not solve anything. Now I am not saying there are not circumstances that are not your fault and that definitely are the result of someone else's choices. But what I am referring to is that instead of blaming someone for something that happened or that they did to you, choose to take responsibility for how you react, deal with it, move on from it, etc.
This touches on the concept of forgiveness which is another one of my favorite topics and will be featured a lot in this blog. It does you no good to look back in the past and push responsibility for where you are in your life, or the current life situation that is occurring, because of what someone else did. Someone treated you bad, abused you, stole from you, hit your car, lost your favorite shirt, and so on...so what! Yea those things may have been that person's fault, but you need to look at each event in a different light. First, look back at it and really see if there was anything you did to cause it and could it have been prevented. Now don't obsess over this because you cannot change the past, but simply accept it and learn from it as a lesson. Secondly, just simply accept the fact that it happened and think better of yourself and deal with it in a responsible manner that is conducive to your happiness.
Many people have a hard time with this because they view acceptance or forgiveness as a validation or a sense that you are okay with what the person did with you. You are not saying the person is in the right or should have done that to you. Instead you are saying that you value yourself more to move forward with your life. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You cannot go back and change what happened so why let something burden you for the rest of your life and prevent you from living a full and happy life. One of my favorite Buddhist quotes is about anger and how pointless it is:
By blaming and becoming angry at something that has occurred in the past you are just giving it more fuel to continually show up and manifest in your life via the law of attraction. I admit it can be very hard especially with deep rooted traumatic events, but it is truly a freedom in your life to just let it go. Your happiness and quality of life depends on no one but you. Therefore, realize your worth and how almost silly it is to let something unchangeable, like the past, control and make you who you are. LET...IT...GO and take responsibility for your future!